


strangers outside my door

by maleclipse



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Coda, Episode: s03e14 A Kiss From a Rose, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 01:07:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18173828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maleclipse/pseuds/maleclipse
Summary: Magnus' first night at the institute.(3x14.)





	strangers outside my door

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wrote this instead of sleeping. it's 5am. please kill me. 
> 
> title from sunrise avenue - home!! had it on repeat while writing,,, 
> 
> contains spoilers from ep 3x14

Magnus didn't belong at the institute. There was this constant feeling of being watched - like every shadowhunter wanted to know why exactly he was invading their space. No one dared to question it, not when Alec was around, but Magnus knew those looks. Giving the loft to Lorenzo was a bigger loss than Magnus had expected it to be. And even though Magnus wasn't one to hide, he definitely felt humiliated.

He was only just getting used to his - well, not exactly _his_ , but Lorenzo's - new magic, yes, but it almost felt like it hadn't been worth it. While he was happy and whole again, it felt like something was missing. Something he and Alec both wanted - the much needed privacy of the loft.

The magic, it felt wrong inside Magnus’ body. It was there, but it was burning and ice cold at the same time. It was crawling through his veins like a disease, it didn't know the people around him, it didn't even recognize Alec like Magnus’ magic did. Magnus was terrified. Magnus felt _weak_ , and was feeling weak really worth losing the place he and Alexander both loved?

Magnus wanted to think it was, but entering Alec's bedroom and feeling Lorenzo's magic _flinch_ from Alec's presence-- Magnus didn't know anymore. But he had to pretend, at least. Alec was trying his best to be happy for him, so Magnus better be happy himself, too. 

“Hi,” Alexander's voice was sweet and he was observing Magnus softly. Magnus sent him a smile, a quiet one that didn't quite reach his eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I'm quite fine, darling,” Magnus answered. Alec frowned and set down his book, like he didn't fully believe his boyfriend. Magnus closed the door behind him, and added then, “This magic just feels new. It doesn't recognize you, like mine did.”

Alec climbed off the bed and carefully stepped closer, grabbing Magnus’ hand and squeezing it. Magnus let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. It had been hectic day, to say at least, and they had been _distant_ through most of it - Magnus had been afraid.

“Then we'll make it recognize me,” Alexander whispered and Magnus squeezed his hand back.

Subconsciously he knew that Alec really was happy for him, that he had wanted Magnus to have his magic just as much as Magnus did. But then there was this other voice, in there, saying Alec had been happy with Magnus being mortal. And maybe he had been, who knows, but listening to the voice got real old real fast. The immortality would be a problem, as long as Magnus had his magic, but they'd get through it. Magnus knew they would.

“I'd like that,” he answered hoarsely and catched Alec's gaze with his own. Alec let emotions pour through his eyes, the love, the ambition - Magnus hated how he just wasn't comfortable with doing the same. Like he wasn't putting the same effort on the relationship.

“Stop tormenting yourself, I can practically hear it,” Alec said, “It's okay, whatever it is.”

Magnus could only nod and pull Alec close, so close he could lean on him. Alec embraced him with fondness and Magnus breathed in the familiar scent of his boyfriend, curling his arms around him. They stayed like that for minutes, hugging each other after a long day. It would've been perfect without the unnecessary sounds of people walking past their door.

“C'mon, let's get you to bed,” Alec said quietly. Magnus had heard those words over and over again through the last weeks - Alec taking care of Magnus. Right now, Magnus couldn't bring himself to care. He let Alec undress him slowly, fold the clothes to a nice pile, whisper sweet nothings and pull him to the bed with him.

“I know you're not fine,” Alec told him matter-of-factly, but still with a soft edge on his voice, “and I won't make you talk. But I want you to know that I'm still here for you, and that I'm trying my best to be happy for you. I know you are capable of taking care of yourself, and I know how important your magic is to you.”

And then, laughing, Alec added, “And that I'm probably going to kill Lorenzo. You should know that, too.”

Magnus chuckled and snuggled closer to his boyfriend. “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Alexander whispered. Magnus’ eyes were closed, but he could hear the smile through his voice.

Magnus might’ve been terrified, but right then and there it didn't matter. The room was dark, he was cuddling his boyfriend, for the first time that day he felt only _warm_. Alec was absently drawing the love rune on his skin, Magnus recognized it by now. It was something Alec did, when he had nothing to say.  

“It's just--,” Magnus started quietly, then shut up and breathed in before continuing, “I’ve imagined our future together. And it always involves the loft.”

Alec let Magnus talk. “I imagined our kids there, you know? Just running around, you being a stern dad to them, actually ask them to stop and me just laughing my ass off. Hell, I imagined our wedding night there.

“It's like. Whatever I thought the life would throw at me, to us, it always somehow involved _home._ And I, _we,_ don't have that anymore. I know, I said it didn't really matter, as long as I have you and as long as I have magic, and it really doesn't. I just-- it's hard to think about our life anywhere else,” Magnus’ voice was quiet and he let himself talk, tell Alec how he really felt. He opened his eyes to meet Alexander's wondering gaze.

“I'm honestly going to kill him,” Alec blurted. “I'm going to kill him, for taking all that away from us.”

Magnus let himself laugh freely. “Yeah. You do that.”

Alec didn't even question Magnus openly admitting he wanted to get married and have kids with him. He didn't comment on it and just brushed it off like it was obvious.

Oh, how much Magnus loved him.

“I know I wasn’t yet _living_ at the loft, but, you know, we could also just go and buy ourselves a new apartment. If Lorenzo doesn't agree on me killing him,” Alec then mused. Magnus bit his lower lip, so he wouldn't start grinning stupidly.

“You're right,” Magnus whispered and closed his eyes again. Alec pulled him closer. “Let's get back to that in the morning, shall we?”

“Yeah,” Alec murmured. “There's pancakes in the morning. Nicer to plot a murder with pancakes.”

Magnus giggled and could feel Alec's smile against his neck. _It would be okay_ , he thought.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos & comments are very much appreciated in this household!!


End file.
